DAILY NEWSLETTER - WEEK A - TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 22, 1998
ALL STUDENTS Disgraceful Theft
$10 000 has mysteriously disappeared from the school voluntary contribution vault. The perpetraitors of this heinious crime have until 3. 2Opm today to return the money or will face serious consequences. The police will be mvolved. We will find out who you are no matter what it takes.
W Baldock
ALL STAFF & STUDENTS
The principal leaves today on his latest cultural oddessy. We are sure that the school will function adequately in his absence
W Baldock
ALL STUDENTS From the Office of the Principal
One would just like to wish you all well before leaving. A particular reminder to Year 12. We are watching you. Stay out of trouble. Oh and the best of luck with your exams. Except for those few students who already know who they are sol do not wish to ernbarrass them further. I hope I will enjoy my voyage and I'm certain that I'll find at least one friendly French face that I haven't sat on previously
RJ Stratford
ALL STUDENTS Congratulations to Tony Pang who spoke his first word last Thursday. Speaking for six days and still no sign of smut. A sterling ambassador for the school.
RJ Stratford (Originally written by N Whitfield)
ALL STUDENTS Will the students who put hallucenogens in my coffee this morning please report to me at recess or I will release the penguins.
M Selway
RIFLE SIIOOTING The following boys have been shot:
Year 9 R Hamer
Year 10 D Fijac
J Murray
D Bogais
Year 11 K O-Hannolan
B Huddleston
Year 12 JYum
A Seong
V Chung
T Lee
J McFadden (twice)
M Pollock has been shot in an entirely unrelated incident
D Ferguson
SENIOR RUGBY Sausage Sizzle
$1.00 buys a sausage, a drink and a poofy serviette if you're a bloody queer. BYO. Money raised will buy a new set of goalposts for MacKay 1. Abos will be welcome but chinkos can bloody well go home.
M Smith
YEAR 10 Debating
Coaching session as per usual this afternoon. Remember, if it's not on it's not on. No smoking afterwards.
G Tilley (The Great)
YEAR 10 Work Experience
You're all a bunch of bloody idiots. Say no more. Keep smilin' guys. PS. Get your forms in real quick so they can sit on my desk for a fortnight.
R Watson
YEAR 9 Sorry boys, our planned meeting at lunchtime amongst the trees on the flat has had to be cancelled as I've been unavoidably detained.
J Pirrie
YEAR 8 Debating Dinner
Meet Mr Selway at Bill and Tony's at 7.3Opm sharp tonight otherwise he'll feel very lonely. Free watemelon and green lemonade.
M Selway
ALL STAFF The proprietors of thc Bat & Ball have once again informed me that they are sick and tired of chucking out certain members of staff after happy hour. PE staff, I'm looking at you.
W Baldock
ALL STAFF John McFadden is finally now a member of my personal harem. Hands off, he's mine.
P Noller
STAFF Geoff Hassall's Lunch
You left your lunch at home today, Geoffrey. I've sent it to the office by freight courier. I hope you're wearing clean underwear.
Mrs Hassall
STAFF Maxy Baby
Please report to the bookroom at recess to "restack the books".
M Shephard